


Seriously? Right in front of MY Hulk plushie?

by YallHearSumn



Series: Life's Greatest Blessing and Other Adventures [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Aunt Natasha Romanov, Bottom Tony Stark, Cute Kids, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Embarrassed Steve Rogers, Embarrassment, Harley To The Rescue, Harley walks in on his parents getting... busy, Hope this is okay, M/M, Monsters, POV Alternating, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Parenthood, Protective Tony Stark, Scared kid, Stark-Rogers Kids, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), The Author Regrets Everything, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Top Steve Rogers, Trans Male Character, Trans Tony Stark, Uncle Bucky Barnes, Uncle Clint Barton, Uncle Sam Wilson, Walking In On Someone, embarrassed tony stark, im so embarrassed, minor softcore porn?, naturally he assumes the worst, not descriptive really and very offscreenly onscreen, not really - Freeform, peter sleeps like a log, sike!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 08:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17825573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YallHearSumn/pseuds/YallHearSumn
Summary: It’s warm and safe under his blankets and Harley just wants to stay like this forever. Except the noises are back and his nightlight’s batteries had run flat.AKA Harley walks in on Steve and Tony getting busy and assumes the worst.





	Seriously? Right in front of MY Hulk plushie?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, enjoy and as always no beta so ya girl is fucking up them lyrics all by herself. Edit: some parts got cut off during initial posting, but I am fixed it. Sorry you guys had to read the shit that I originally posted

It’s warm and safe under his blankets, and Harley just wants to stay like this forever - except the noises are back and his nightlight’s batteries had run flat two days ago.  
Of course having a bedroom so close to the compound’s gardens meant that night time was never short of usual and unusual sounds, whether it was the wind rustling through the Oak leaves, or the great silver maple tree their Daddy had built them a treehouse in last summer, dancing to midnight tunes and stirring up the noc-turn-al animals. Nature was always loud, was always meant to be loud, but these sounds, however, were like nothing he had ever heard in the gardens before.

When he had first heard it, he was terrified! He had been lying awake for hours that evening, unable to fall asleep, but because Papa and Daddy had already gone to bed, and Pete would be angry if he made too much noise or woke him up, Harley had decided to just sit tight and enjoy the quiet of the night instead of setting up a midnight council of toys. After all, he did his best thinking at night, just like Papa.  
But in between thoughts of how to sneak down the hall and steal a twinkie without Papa or Daddy knowing and how Papa’s crazy hair scared him when it looked like a clown’s in the mornings, a dull thudding against his wall had suddenly started, giving him a jump and knocking his heart right down to his feet.

The toddler was quick to scramble beneath his covers, but not soon enough as he heard a monster grunting and moaning just beyond the wall. Why would someone or something make those noises? Were they hurt? Maybe they stubbed their toe on the coffee table, like Daddy had just the other morning. Or maybe it was the monster uncle Bucky had told him about, the one that ate naughty kids who didn’t go to bed on time? Because if so, Harley was absolutely doomed! Daddy had given him a goodnight kiss hours ago!

Burrowing deeper into his covers, he had pulled the sheets around his ears and closed his eyes tightly, willing the monster away. Papa would be sad and cry if Harley got eaten, so he had to make sure the monster didn’t get him! 

For what felt like forever (which according to Daddy wasn’t all that long, Harley was just “im-pa-tient”), he hid under his covers for protection. And though the monster didn’t come any closer to him, at one point the THUD THUD THUD against his wall had picked up faster and the moaning and grunting and screaming started getting louder and louder, until the monsters’ (there had to be more than one! Harley could hear two voices so far) moaning and grunting got really loud and there was a cry that was held longer than any of the others. After that, everything had just suddenly stopped and quieted, except for faint whispers, just beyond the wall, that Harley was too afraid to listen to.

********

********

****

He waited burrowed up for three more minutes, breathing very _very _quietly (Aunt Tash would be so proud of him) and hoping the monsters weren’t tricking him, but when no one grabbed him or ripped his blankets off and tried to eat him, he deemed the coast clear and fell into a fitful sleep.__

____

____

****__ ** **

Harley laid awake the rest of the night, vigilant of the monsters that still lurking around trying to get him, but all night they didn’t come and when Papa came into his room to get him in the morning, belly poking out and crazy clown hair on display, he was really _really _tired. Maybe Papa would let him take his morning nap a earlier today. He would've liked to say that the monsters no longer scared him, but every time they swang by, he was terrified out of his mind and couldn't even tell Papa or Daddy or Pete about them.__

____

__

____

____

****___ _ ** **

****___**_ _ _ ** **

****___ _ ** **

Following his normal routine, he ate breakfast with his family before Daddy and the on-duty Avengers left for work, and then toddled over tiredly to the play-mat in the family room, belly full and eyes fighting to stay open. Dragging one of the throws from the sofa, he collapsed in front of the TV, where Pete was watching morning cartoons, and dozed right off, only to be awakened for lunch.

That night, he stayed up again - but the monsters never returned. Daddy was away on a secret mission with the some of the Avengers, which meant Harley had to take care of Pete and Papa, and make sure the monsters didn’t hurt them. 

****___ _ ** **

He was really tired though, and Papa had given him warm milkies before bed, so he may have ended up dozing away for a second or two(hours), but luckily the monsters hadn’t snatched him. 

****___ _ ** **

Shrugging in the quiet darkness and sucking on his binky (which his Daddy very much was trying to wean him off of), he thinks they must have gotten tired or were maybe just too scared to come back, because he had left his Cap Shield Papa had made him by the door. They wouldn't be coming back now and Harley had rested so well that he didn’t even mind Pete’s grumpiness or Papa’s clown hair in the morning. 

****___ _ ** **

A few nights later, after Daddy got back from work, the monsters made a sudden reappearance though, which lead Harley to one conclusion: maybe they wanted to eat Daddy! When Daddy hadn’t been at home, the monsters hadn’t come back, but now suddenly they had returned.  
Harley should really do something if that was the case, maybe even ask his Papa to have Jarvie watch for the monsters at night. The grunting and moaning continues getting super loud, and although terrified out of his mind, Harley wonders how Peter never wakes up. Maybe he should start sleeping in his room, the monsters couldn’t possibly find him there and Daddy would catch them if they tried to eat them.

****___ _ ** **

Mind made up, he fearfully slides out of his bed, Iron Man and Cap plushies in a death grip, and, staying away from the wall where the THUD THUD THUD is coming from, he makes a mad dash for the bedroom door and makes quick work of the handle, speeding to Pete’s room and diving under his covers, curling up in his brother’s arms. 

********

********

**___**** _ _ _ **

In the hallway, the sounds had been SO loud and Harley couldn’t tell where they were coming from! Luckily he had made it in one piece and Pete was nice and warm, and the monsters were easily drowned out by his truck snoring (Papa always joked that Pete slept like someone who just finished a 13 hour shift). Now, the monsters didn’t know where to find him and wouldn’t go back to his room because he wasn’t there. 

**___**** _ _ _ **

Tony wasn’t happy with him in the morning though, and said they both slept too horribly to share a bed and would end up killing each other in their sleep, but that was okay because the monsters had been fooled! 

**___**** _ _ _ **

At breakfast Daddy and Papa were smiling lazily at each other and were being gross and kissing all the time, and Harley thinks they must have really missed each other a lot because even uncle Clint had told them to get a room. Daddy had even rubbed Papa’s back because the babies were too heavy and making him ache all over, so Harley had tried to help and carry Papa’s belly from the bottom, even though Papa and uncle Buck had laughed when Harley explained to him that he was helping and _not _trying to trip him.__

____

____

____

____

**_****__ ** ** _ **

But more than that, Harley had made a new discovery! The monsters really must be trying to eat his parents because, just below the neckline of Papa’s gown sat dark marks that looked like turnip-colored bruises and Daddy had the same ones, although his were all but gone by the time Harley checked. Not wanting to let his parents know he knew, Harley kept quiet knowing they weren’t telling him or Pete about the monsters because they didn’t want them to be scared! 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

The monsters would never be able to get to him now, not when Papa and Daddy were driving them away! 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

**_****__***_ _ ** ** _ **

**_****__ ** ** _ **

Over the next two weeks the monsters never came back, and Harley slept easier knowing his parents were keeping their family safe. 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

One peaceful night, however, just as he had snuggled up with his Hulk plushie hours after looking through all his toys, and ready to finally turn in for the evening, the thudding started back up! He had jumped up in bed and immediately looked around for his shield. Grabbing it from where it was propped up against the wall, he decided it had to end tonight, and maybe the monsters could be banished for good if he helped Daddy and Papa. 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

Leaving a message with his Buckybear to get Aunt Tasha if he didn’t come back in ten minutes, he braced himself and reached for the door. Even though the sounds were scarier in the hall, he had to focus! Zeroing in on the source, just like Daddy taught him by standing extremely still, he found them to be coming from Daddy and Papa’s room! 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

Creeping forward quietly, he creaked their door open just a sliver and had Hulk the plushie do first check. Deeming it safe to look, Harley came upon a very confusing sight. 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

Expecting his parents to be asleep while the monsters raged, or for them to be fighting the monsters, Harley didn’t really understand why Daddy had his Papa’s leg up like that. 

**_****__ ** ** _ **

Their bed was really messy, even messier than _his, _with the sheets gripped tightly in Papa’s hands and their pillows strewn all over. Daddy had his back to the door, holding one of Papa’s legs up over his shoulders and doing something like moving his hips back and forth and that must have hurt Papa, because _he _was moaning, not a monster, and was trying to kick Daddy away with his free leg but Daddy kept grabbing it and pining him down by the hip continuing to move back and forth – and really, what was that about? Harley had never seen anybody do that, and from the sound of it Papa was getting hurt, so they could only mean one thing: Daddy was the monster!____

_____ _

_____ _

******___ _ ** ** **

Completely confused and not understanding what was happening, Harley took a minute before he quietly tip toed back to his room to get something to help his Papa with. Finding a Mjolnir, he left Hulk with Buckybear and Iron Man, after throwing Daddy’s plushie in the back of his cupboard, and creeped out of his room once again. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Making his way past his parents room, he could hear that Daddy was still hurting Papa, and sped down the long hallways to get uncle Buck and aunt Tash, who had gotten in last night around dinner time. As he made his way over to the East wing of the Compound, he couldn’t help but get lost in thought, wondering why Daddy would hurt Papa. Did he not love him anymore? Just the other day they were kissing and hugging, but Daddy was hurting Papa for weeks now so maybe Papa was just pretending, trying to keep Harley and Peter safe! What if Daddy was hurting the babies too! Would they need to take Papa to the hospi- 

******___ _ ** ** **

******___ _ ** ** **

Stunned for a bit, he finally registers uncle Buck picking him up and asking what’s wrong. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Daddy’s hurting Papa and the babies, uncle Buck! You and Auntie Tash need to come help me save Papa!” he was quick to shout, causing Auntie Tash to emerge from their room, alert. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Uncle Buck’s eyes go wide as he looks to Aunt Tash, who hurries over to soothe them both. “Okay baby, take a deep breath and tell us what’s going on.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

Doing as he was told and grabbing onto uncle Buck’s hair, he tells them about what he saw and was hearing for the passed few weeks but they both just got these looks on their faces and seemed as if they were trying not to laugh. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Why don’t they get it? Harley was _so _frustrated with them right now, his Papa and the babies were in danger and they didn’t believe him… unless they were in on it and were helping Daddy hurt Papa!__

____

____

******___ _ ** ** **

Coming to his realisation, he stuck two fingers into uncle Buck’s eyes and leaped out his arms, as he shouted in surprise, and making a break for it down the hall. He would save his Papa, all on his own if he had to! 

******___ _ ** ** **

Ignoring the shouts behind him and trying to avoid aunt Tash trying to snatch him up, he made a sharp left into the family room, rushing around the couch as aunt Tash pleaded with him to calm down. Soon enough, he noticed that they were joined with other unwanted presences, namely Daddy drinking water in the kitchen, no longer naked and wearing his pyjamas, staring at them worriedly. Yeah right, Harley knew better. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Grabbing a picture frame off of the side table next to the couch, Harley hurled it aunt Tasha and uncle Buck and ran towards Daddy screaming, Mjolnir raised up high. 

******___ _ ** ** **

He crashed into Daddy’s legs, hitting him over and over again until felt two arms wrap tightly around him. He hadn’t realised he had been crying, or that half the house was up, including Papa and Pete who came over worriedly, until he felt Daddy wipe his eyes and uncle Clint grab Mjolnir. “Hey, kid, watch out! It’s just me!” uncle Clint cried, as Harley fought harder against Daddy. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Oh no! Now Papa was stuck in the room with all of them, will Daddy hurt him in front of everyone? Harley couldn’t let that happen, so he immediately started wiggling his body like a worm, stabbing at Daddy’s eyes and screaming for Papa to take Pete and run! 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Go Papa! I’ll hold him off, promise!” he pleaded, furiously kicking and hitting at Daddy to let him go. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”What on Earth is going on here, Harl? Why are you hitting me?” his Daddy cried out, trying and failing to restrain the lanky toddler. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Papa moved forward, handing Pete over to auntie Tash who was brushing the glass from the picture frame out of uncle Buck’s hair, and made his way over to the struggling two grabbing Harley’s arms and pulling him into a warm embrace.”Shh Sweetheart, Papa’s here. No more fighting, no more fighting,” he soothed, playing with Harley’s hair just like he liked it and Harley stilled, hiccupping softly against his Papa and burrowing into his neck. 

******___ _ ** ** **

What would he do now? He might have put Papa at a greater risk, and now he was too tired to fight. 

******___ _ ** ** **

For a long while no one said anything, as Papa soothed him and uncle Sam picked up the broken frame and handed uncle Buck a tissue for his bleeding forehead. Daddy stood off to the side, away from both Harley and Papa, because every time he tried to get closer, Harley had started crying louder. What could he have possibly done to make his son react like this? Had he scared him or hurt him without realising? 

******___ _ ** ** **

But before his thoughts could eat him alive, auntie Tash spoke up, rocking Pete back to sleep in her arms, “Your son thinks you’re hurting his Papa, Steve.” 

Dumbfounded at Nat's revelation, everyone looked at each other incredulously, trying to figure out how the toddler came to that conclusion. “Why would you think that, Sweetheart? I love Papa more than anything!” Steve said, trying to approach his little boy, only to be met with fierce cries from the toddler. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Well,” uncle Buck said, scratching at his head, and wincing in embarrassment, “he kinda walked in on you two getting… intimate, and mistook it for you… hurting Tony. He came to us for help, running like a bat out of hell and armed with… that,” he gingerly points to the Mjolnir hammer they had got him. 

******___ _ ** ** **

A bit startled, Steve felt his face flame up in embarrassment. ”Oh,” he intelligently replied, while Sam and Clint busted a lung laughing at them, eventually getting dragged out by Bucky, who took them by the scruff of their necks. Natasha is quick to scamper away too, Pete snug in her arms and sliding out, back to the Eastern wing. “I’ll let you two handle this,” she winks as she leaves. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Majorly uncomfortable, and a bit proud of his boy’s instinct to protect his Papa and get help, Steve looked over at his husband and their son for the first time since the revelation. Tony, in total parent mode, does not look embarrassed at all, instead focusing on calming Harley down. They had never discussed having The Talk™ with the boys before, what with them being so young and all, but he guessed they’d have to do their best to explain what was _actually _happening now, before Steve lost something vital.__

____

____

******___ _ ** ** **

”Harl, buddy, let’s talk,” Steve motions for Tony to go over to the sofas, noticing his little winces of pain from his ever-growing back aches. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Tony takes a seat, comfortably positioning Harley in his arms so that he could see Steve, who sits down on the same couch, just a bit away from them. Running his hands through his baby’s hair, he pecks him soothingly, glancing over at Steve and subtlety nodding. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Nervous as all hell suddenly, Steve wrings his hands. “You see, Buddy, I wasn’t hurting Papa, in fact I was making him very… er happy,” he tries, getting an encouraging smile from Tony. 

******___ _ ** ** **

"What your dad is trying to say, Bud, is that we were doing something that we both enjoyed, and both of us were willing participants,” Tony says, noticing the hints of distrust glowing in Harley’s eyes. “It’s something called sex, and we had it to make you and Pete, and even the twins, but sometimes people have it just to feel good. It’s a bit of a delicate topic and Daddy and I haven’t had time to work through how we’d explain it to you guys, since we didn’t think this day would come for a _very _long time.”__

____

____

******___ _ ** ** **

A bit confused, Harley scratched at his head and blinked a few times, feeling incredibly tired. “So if you have sex to feel good, can I have sex?” he asks, missing his parents shared looks of terror. If Papa said Daddy wasn't hurting him, it must be true. Papa never ever lied to him!

******___ _ ** ** **

”Uh, no Baby. You uh see, sex is for adults only and only with someone you really really love,” Steve explains, the blush crawling down his neck and determinedly ignoring Tony’s raised eyebrow and mischievous smile. “You’re still too little, and Papa and I will be able to explain why a bit better after we’ve had a little chat on our own. I’m sorry you thought I was hurting Papa, but I can assure you Sweetheart, I’d never purposefully hurt Papa, ever. I love him a lot and I love you a lot. And Pete, and uncle Buck, and everyone else in our family. People who love each other, will try to never hurt each other,” Steve finishes, hoping his son understands. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Okay, Daddy. I’m really sorry for hurting you,” Harley says remorsefully. “I didn’t mean it that bad, and I can’t help if uncle Buck has a big forehead. The photo frame would have missed if it wasn’t that big,” Harley declares, arms crossed and face screwed up stubbornly. 

Chuckling softly, the parents cuddled closer, kissing their little one who quickly slipped into sleep, safe in their _loving _arms and probably bone tired from his busy night.__

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__

******___ _ ** ** **

After Harley's breathing evens out and they're sure he's asleep, Steve gently gathered him up in his arms and carried him to his room, tucking the boy into bed and resting Hulk in his arms. Chuckling at the disaster that was Harley’s floor, he did a once over of the windows and quietly left, going over to Pete’s room, only to notice that it was empty. Nat must have decided he was sleeping in her and Bucky’s room then. 

******___ _ ** ** **

Finally stepping into his own bedroom after switching the hall lights off and making sure the bathroom light was on, he quietly shuts the door and goes over to help Tony with changing the sheets, which he had been doing before all the commotion started. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”In one day, I have crazy Braxton Hicks and our son finds out about sex… fun,” Tony sighs, crawling into bed to cuddle up to Steve. “We’re going to have to give Pete a talk too, tomorrow still.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Yeah, I know, but at least we’ll be a bit better prepared. Never knew we’d be giving our toddlers the birds and the bees talk,” Steve says, kissing Tony’s hair gently and rubbing his back. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”On the plus side, at least he didn’t come charging in while we were busy, could you imagine that? Instantly scarred for life,” Tony bursts out giggling, wiping at the tears falling from his eyes. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Or, Heaven forbid, when you came, he’d really think I was murdering you, what with all the crying and jerking,” Steve says mischievously lowering himself to trail kisses down Tony’s neck and behind his ears, receiving sweet little mewls from his favorite brunet. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”No no way, Cap,” Tony breathes out, pushing at his head, “our kid just found out about all this, you really want to wake him again? And besides, we aren’t all blessed with super soldier stamina and refractory periods. I’m still a little too tingly down there,” Tony whispers against his neck, running his hands up and down Steve’s sides and placing a kiss on his lips. “Let’s just call it a night, Soldier.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Of course, Baby,” Steve says, smiling fondly down at him and twisting to switch off the bedside lamps. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”You know,” he says into the darkness, embracing Tony from behind and smirking into his back, “Harl was kinda right.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Hmm? How so?” 

******___ _ ** ** **

"I was highkey beating it up, Baby,” Steve says cracking up against Tony, receiving a weak slap. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Shut up, Rogers.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

******___***_ _ _ ** ** **

******___ _ ** ** **

******___ _ ** ** **

”So… why didn’t you guys just soundproof your room?” Clint asks the next morning, receiving two groans of annoyance and several snickers from the extended team after they were informed of last night’s shenanigans. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Hey,” Sam chimes in, face red and scrunched up trying not to laugh, “at least Stark wasn’t moaning ‘Daddy’. Now _that _would have really confused Harl!” he busts out causing a cacophony of laughing Avengers.__

____

____

____

____

******___ _ ** ** **

Taking in the snickers and full-belly laughs, Tony looks up from his (pitiful decaf) coffee, face serious and starts fake laughing. “HA HA HA, that was SO funny, Birdbrain #2! And since you’re all enjoying it so much, everybody, out of my house!” he declares storming off and down to the labs, snickers following him all the way down. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Man, if only they knew,” Steve says playfully, saddling up behind him and wrapping his arms around the brunet. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Jeez, our kids are going to have so many problems because of us,” Tony mutters, face still burning as he feels Steve’s fingers trail up along his belly to loosen his shirt. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”It comes with the territory, Baby.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and thank you for all the love this series is getting <3 A kudos and/or comment would be great, but you do you boo <3 Until next time! Lief vir julle <3


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